Yes I know. It has been a really long time since I have put up a post. Been busy with all the examination stuff.
In all this time, since my last post, I have come across so many experiences of people around me, my own too, about relations, that I felt apt to write it down.
My regular readers, who have followed my writing surely know that I write what people share with me or what I have gone through myself. Quick advice, start listening and not hearing, and you will have one of the best personality around. I can guarantee it to you. So this time around I came across some varied viewpoints and experiences and expectations of my friends regarding relationships. One is waiting for a relationship to happen; the other one is in a long distance relationship and one of my other friend has stopped believing in the concept of relationship because of the heartbreak she experienced.
So when I say, waiting for relationship to happen, I literally mean that. This friend of mine has mingled with so many people, some she liked but didn’t get the response she was expecting and some others who liked her but she had set a criteria (physical attributes) and they didn’t fit in. She has been waiting for her Mr. Right since four years now! Of course you can wait for eternity if you want but do you really need to? The one thing that intrigued me about this first aspect is the amount of expectations and limitations we take around with ourselves. Not saying that you shouldn’t wish about the kind of person you want to be with but come on, you have got to be realistic and at least know the person even if they don’t meet your Mr. Right personality. Because as far as I have seen or rather I believe, we have become capable and independent individuals who can handle ourselves and we can make things happen. What we really need is someone who can love us, care for us and be there with us in our bad and good phases, with whom we can share everything rather than some 6 foot tall, fair complexion shit. And trust me you will always want to end up with this sort of a person. So before your ship even begins to sail, make sure you have no holes at the bottom.
Ahh.. long distance. I really find the concept a bit tricky because for me, the person I want spend time with should be around me and not in some different city or country. Usually these relations end up really soon. But this friend of mine, who has told me everything about her relationship, man, she and her boyfriend handle their relation with so much care and trust. Both of them know at what time the other one would eat, or go to college or what time do they go for having a bath…hahaha…I find it funny too, but it isn’t. They literally manage their schedules in such a way that they can talk on skype and whatsapp. I feel that these guys truly like each other and would go to any extend to be there for each other. In contrast, what we do is still not spend time even though our partner might just be living two blocks away! All I want to say about this aspect is that, once you are in a relationship, you BOTH have to take equal efforts and measures to maintain it. Even a small lapse from one side can, within seconds, break a good relationship. So now that you are in the ship, make sure you put your sail perfectly and fight out the waves as much as you can, together.
Finally, a touchy topic. Break up and its aftermath. Now this friend of mine, the third one, she has always been shy and hesitant about dating. But then she met a guy, someone from her own community, someone who was pursuing the same course in academics as she was, someone who really liked her or that was what she told me. They both spent time with each other and roamed around and texted whenever they got time. Being in the same course was an added advantage. Promises and lot of love was exchanged. But then things changed. This guy went somewhere else outside the city for studies, met a girl and committed to her. What a cheater, you guys must be thinking, but no, it wasn’t completely his fault. They weren’t in a relationship! My dear friend kept things a bit before the line of dating and not much to my surprise he went away. The problem is, we don’t communicate our feelings well, when we should be. Keeping the other person waiting is just going to drive them apart. And as far as I have seen break ups, of all the problems, communication and time have been the real killers. Either you don’t spend time or you don’t talk what’s needed. So as you are about to land on shore make sure you get down together!
Or you might as well jump from the sinking ship together.
And yes, I would also want to share my own stuff. Will not be going into details but sometimes we don’t really understand the person we like, I mean what they say has a particular meaning and what we understand is yet another meaning. So make sure you are on the same track or rather, there is concensus-ad-idem. (Studying business law a lot lately :P)
That is all.
Hope you had a good read.
And yes, I have got a whole new set of stories, completely different of what I have written till now! So do wait, okay? J
And one more thing, I would really love if you guys can share your opinions or points about my writing or in fact your experiences with me.
Mail me – firstname.lastname@example.org